


these are the nights made for us

by bapaldeul



Series: we shared a moment that will last till the end [9]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mostly Fluff, aka the fwb au no one asked me to write, language major!jihoon, pre-med!daniel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 03:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16054748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bapaldeul/pseuds/bapaldeul
Summary: A meeting that happens by chance sprinkled with a touch of midnight magic turns into many more nights spent together in bed, and out of it. Daniel thinks he doesn't need a serious relationship to tie him down during senior year, and Jihoon thinks that he could use some fooling around just for the fun of it.everything takes a turn for the better or the worse when the benefits in the term "friends with benefits" start to include intended movie spoilers, late night grocery runs, and a lot of hidden feelings.





	these are the nights made for us

**Author's Note:**

> welp. this was a monster fic to write i wanted to end it at 10k but i guess this is for the better??
> 
> i hope u all enjoy it!!! enjoy <3

These are the nights made for making bad decisions. Really bad ones.

 

Daniel meets Jihoon on a chilly February night. He wasn’t Park Jihoon to Daniel then – he’d been a random stranger with a strawberry lollipop in his mouth and a grey hoodie clad over his gorgeous figure; broad shoulders and a slim waist, and dishevelled hair while sitting bent over on the ramp focused on his comic book.

 

“Are you going to keep sitting there? I might just hit you with my skateboard,” Daniel says, irritated after the boy does not get the message that he is blocking Daniel’s way even after Daniel stares at him for a few seconds.

 

“It’s late,” the boy just replies as he removes the lollipop from his mouth, dismissing Daniel. “Go to bed.”

 

Putting his board down, Daniel sighs, frustrated at this stranger who just won’t budge so that he can skate. He normally wouldn’t make such requests to people but he’s way too awake with too much energy to lie in bed in his dorm.

 

“Move,” Daniel growls, snatching the book out of the boy’s hand.

 

“Hey,” the boy’s eyes immediately change from playful to intimidating. “Give it back.”

 

Daniel holds the book just above his head, smiling when it reminds him of a scene from high school. The boy stares him right in his eyes – unwilling to give in to Daniel.

 

“Give. It. Back.”

 

The boy’s voice is deeper than what Daniel would think come out of a boy with a baby-face like this one. He looks harmless, cute even; if Daniel had seen him any other time than now, but glares at Daniel like he’s just killed his entire family.

 

“Chill,” Daniel smiles, returning the book to the boy. “What’s a pretty face like you doing so late out at night anyway? It’s dangerous, you should return to the dorm soon.”

 

“Crazy asshole,” the boy mutters under his breath.

 

“Excuse me?” Daniel raises an eyebrow.

 

“You’re out like me too,” the boy rolls his eyes. “It’s late – you should go home to your mom soon. Or are you the person I should be afraid of; like you’re the big bad wolf and I’m red riding hood? Don’t make me laugh.”

 

The boy is quirky and relentless with his insults even if he looks like he is at a severe disadvantage next to Daniel. When their eyes meet again, and they are both smiling like this is all a huge joke to both of them, his tense muscles relax, and Daniel decides to give in first.

 

“Kang Daniel,” he introduces himself.

 

“Park Jihoon,” comes a gruff answer.

 

“Now will you _please_ get off the ramp before I hit you?” Daniel tries again.

 

Finally, Park Jihoon breaks out into a smart grin and nods.

 

“Now that wasn’t so hard, was it? Or do you usually not have manners when meeting a new person?”

 

His tone is teasing, as if he _knows_ Daniel is intrigued by his push-and-pull personality and can’t help but respond every time.

 

“I was taught manners just fine. Apologies, I was just shocked to see someone here this late out. I’m usually the only one here. Feels weird to share my space with someone.”

 

“Well then,” Jihoon has a smirk dancing on his lips when he takes a seat next to the skateboard park. “I hope you start getting used to sharing.”

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon finishes his lollipop and pulls out another packet of gummies from his pocket while paying close attention to his comics. While he thought it’d be a very quiet night out, his plans are ruined nicely by a fellow college mate Jihoon has never seen in his life.

 

Kang Daniel is a natural at skateboarding- _but of course_ , Jihoon tells himself. Who in the right mind would want to come here at two in the morning. He’s sure the entire neighbourhood is asleep; which is why he’d chose to go out and explore. His roommate has been complaining about Jihoon leaving his light on at night because he cannot sleep.

 

So, here he is. At the park near his college. With an annoying and maybe mildly handsome boy who can’t stop looking over at Jihoon from time to time, as if to make sure that he’s still there.

 

“Are you afraid of ghosts?” Jihoon suddenly asks.

 

“Don’t say things like that,” Kang Daniel makes a face as he walks over to Jihoon to take a rest. He rubs his shoulders and shivers. “Those kinds of things make me nervous.”

 

Kang Daniel – standing 180cm tall with shoulders as wide as the Pacific Ocean is scared of things that do not exist. Jihoon just chuckles and returns to his comic.

 

“I’m afraid of my dreams.”

 

Jihoon raises his eyebrows and looks at Daniel.

 

“Every time I close my eyes I get nightmares; ghosts and scary things. I hate going to sleep,” Daniel explains. “I guess I am kind of afraid to go to sleep, so I try to make myself dead tired in hopes that I completely black out instead of letting my mind go active and dream something up.”

 

“Huh,” Jihoon just responds. “I just can’t sleep, I guess. Not as dramatic as your story, but it’s real.”

 

Daniel runs his fingers through his hair, a little out of breath.

 

“My mother always told me I get bad dreams because I play too many games or watch too much tv,” Jihoon offers an explanation a minute or two later. “Maybe you should take note.”

 

“Doubt it,” Daniel shrugs. “I’m too busy during the day to even look at my phone. Pre-med programme.”

 

Oh. Suddenly Jihoon feels like he is in the presence of a genius of some sort. He’s heard of stories of students from the pre-med programme in his school.

 

“Can’t you like- _diagnose yourself_ or some shit like that? Is that not how it works?”

 

“No,” Daniel laughs. “But maybe I should see a doctor. It’s been getting worse these days.”

 

Jihoon pouts, feeling bad for acting like a brat to this stranger who suffers from nightmares almost every day.

 

“You should go and run,” Jihoon suggests. “Exercise gets that toxic juice out of your brain. Don’t stay here and talk to me.”

 

“Talking is nice. We could be good friends.”

 

Jihoon scoffs at that, “Do you think I’m as easy as a conversation? You’re going to have to try harder if you want me.”

 

“ _Want you_?” Daniel stares blankly at Jihoon for a second, then comes to a realization after. For someone in the sought after pre-med programme, Daniel isn’t the quickest when it comes to inferring things. Or maybe his brain just acts weird at night, just like how Jihoon’s does as well.

 

“Oh. _Oh_. I didn’t even mean it that way. _God_ , you’re really making me sound like a big bad wolf. You’re no red riding hood, you’re the _devil’s incarnate_.”

 

“Relax,” Jihoon nudges Daniel, and maybe sometimes he underestimates his own strength when Daniel falls over. “I was just joking.”

 

_Or maybe not_ , Jihoon thinks. Maybe the midnight magic is messing with his hormones but he’s sure he’s going to have to somehow get smarter with how he’s luring Daniel into his pretty trap. The boy is smarter than he looks. Closing his book, Jihoon stands up.

 

“Where are you going?” Daniel’s voice is surprised.

 

“Getting a can of beer,” Jihoon decides. “It feels like a good night to get drunk.”

 

“We can go together,” Daniel offers, leaving his skateboard behind and bumping shoulders with the shorter boy. They’re giggling, for no reason, or maybe they already have unsaid inside jokes between them.

 

“The ghosts attack when one of us gets left behind.”

 

Jihoon just accepts Daniel’s half-hearted explanation.

 

Act first, think later.

 

 

 

 

 

“Ya,” Daniel whines when Jihoon finishes his first can and he is already halfway through his third. The other boy is already starting to flush from his cheeks. “You are a terrible drinking partner. This is not how it works.”

 

“I’m sorry!” Jihoon groans a little too loudly to be completely sober. He even hiccups, making Daniel explode into a fit of giggles. “Shit, this is why all my friends hate drinking with me, huh?”

 

“If your limit is one can of _hite_ , then yes. I’m sorry, you’re going to suffer from a severe lack of friends in the next few months. I’m afraid the only medication I can prescribe you is a better alcohol tolerance.”

 

Daniel opens the next can for Jihoon.

 

“Here,” he tips it to the other boy.

 

“I suppose this is one way I can fall asleep,” Jihoon shrugs, accepting the can.

 

“Practice makes perfect,” Daniel agrees.

 

It’s been a while since he’d had someone to drink with. All his friends are suffering the same fate Daniel is – final year in college before going to medical school. Everyone is too burnt out to even stay out after 11pm to grab a drink with Daniel and he’s not too much a fan of going to bars and drinking with strangers.

 

He still does not expect himself to be drinking with a freshman.

 

A really cute one, at that.

 

“Not fair,” Jihoon protests when Daniel finishes his can. “You should try to match my pace, too.”

 

Daniel smiles- _God_. He must be going crazy, thinking this freshman is cute when he should be trying to keep it in his pants especially in his final year. Hook-ups and chasing after cute guys should be done in his junior year, _not now._

 

He is over that life. Definitely over.

 

“You’re thinking really hard,” Jihoon frowns, then wears a mischievous grin, “About me?”

 

“Please. More about the crippling amount of work I have to do before sunrise.”

 

“Then why are you out here?” Jihoon frowns. He waves at Daniel dismissively, “Go home.”

 

“And leave you out here alone?” Daniel knows he’s treading in a dangerous territory even before he can consider the consequences of his words. He’s definitely not thinking straight, both thanks to alcohol and the existence of a certain Park Jihoon. Especially when Jihoon licks his lips- _nope_ , he’s definitely not thinking straight right now.

 

It seems like Jihoon has the same thought on his mind.

 

“Then bring me home with you.”

 

 

 

 

 

They’re doing this. They’re really doing this.

 

Jihoon doesn’t even have the time to consult anyone, make a phone call, or draw out a mind map of how this decision is going to affect him. And it really shouldn’t. This is all just for some fun – for two people who found each other when the rest of the world was asleep.

 

He likes Daniel. Not in the _like_ kind of way but he likes how easy-going the other is and how he lets Jihoon talk informally to him even though he is a senior and how he makes Jihoon laugh even if they’ve met for just three hours.

 

They’re still going to do this.

 

“You live alone?” Jihoon whines in jealousy. “You’re so lucky!”

 

“Pre-med privileges,” Daniel attempts to explain while sweeping the stray clothes off his bed, Jihoon can tell he is trying to do it as discreetly as he can and it’s cute to watch as the other boy tries his best to make his room look presentable.

 

“No, I’m kidding. My roommate dropped out of the programme a few months back and I guess the school never thought to replace him. So here I am.”

 

Jihoon takes a seat even without being asked. Twiddling his thumbs together, he tries to calm himself down. This is no big deal- “Hey, are you okay?” a hand grabs his shoulder reassuringly and Jihoon looks up. Daniel looks worried. Maybe he’s afraid Jihoon is going to back out.

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon nods, more to assure himself than Daniel. He pats the bed, “Come on, here.”

 

Daniel grins, almost like the Cheshire Cat when he takes his seat, letting out a sigh of relief, “Thank God, I was afraid you thought we were going to fix puzzles or some shit like that.”

 

Jihoon laughs, even though his heart is beating like crazy when Daniel’s hands start doing dances in his palm. He’s going to calm down and do this right. Daniel is nice, and Daniel is going to treat him just fine.

 

And because Jihoon’s not really into going slow or hand holding, he snatches his hands away and climbs into Daniel’s lap instead, eliciting a surprised yelp out of the other boy. It’s not fair that Daniel has such wide shoulders that take up almost the entire width of the bed so Jihoon lies Daniel down, hands fumbling with the other boy’s shirt tucked into his jeans.

 

“Let me down easy, tiger,” Daniel chuckles from below, just as Jihoon manages to tug his shirt off and throw it behind him.

 

“Wow,” he marvels, unable to conceal his amazement.

 

“My eyes are up here!” Daniel protests.

 

Maybe Jihoon’s hardware has finally crashed because he really didn’t expect… a nice, chiselled six pack sitting in front of him. He doesn’t know why he didn’t expect this earlier- the broad shoulders and tall frame should have told him something.

 

“Shh,” Jihoon shushes Daniel. “I’m doing something very important right now.”

 

“And what is that?” Daniel whines impatiently, grabbing at Jihoon’s hoodie.

 

He slaps Daniel’s hands away like a mother reprimanding her child for stealing candy and Daniel lets his hands drop to his sides again, defenceless.

 

“Admiring your abs,” Jihoon replies lightly, running his fingers over the muscles. He thinks he hears Daniel inhaling sharply and infers he must be doing something right. “You still have time to work out even with that crippling degree to get?”

 

Daniel doesn’t answer for a moment, and then he finally remembers that Jihoon is talking to him.

 

“ _Sorry_ \- you talking about work is _really_ killing the mood.”

 

Jihoon relents, knowing he’ll have more time later to admire Daniel’s abs. He finally leans in to kiss Daniel- and boy is he a good kisser. He tastes like beer and Jihoon is sure he is no different. Daniel’s hands instinctively pull him closer, muffling a groan from Jihoon.

 

“Take it off,” Daniel says, tugging at Jihoon’s hoodie for the nth time already.

 

“ _Okay, okay_ ,” Jihoon tries to pacify the other boy.

 

Daniel is impatient and takes matters into his own hands when Jihoon moves agonizingly slowly, pulling the hoodie off Jihoon quickly and then the shirt he’s wearing under as well. Before he can even register Daniel’s figures on his sweatpants, he’s suddenly become the underdog with Daniel towering above him.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Daniel asks, kissing Jihoon’s forehead softly.

 

“Yeah, quick,” he can’t think straight anymore with all the blood in his brain travelling _somewhere else_.

 

All that happens after is more of a blur even though looking back, Jihoon wishes he’d memorized the way Daniel kissed him in places he didn’t know felt that good and the way Daniel had said some things that made him laugh along the way. He’s never had anyone like this before; in such a playful and natural manner even though it’s supposed to be nothing but a way for them to both release some stress.

 

Maybe it’s because Jihoon hasn’t been this intimate with anyone in a while but he’s sure, so fucking sure that Daniel is different from the rest. And this raises so many causes for concerns because for a moment Jihoon thinks about _keeping_ Daniel around- especially at the moment he’s positive he’s reached paradise when Daniel holds him tight in his arms, never letting him go until his own screams of pleasure turns into breathy laughs.

 

“Something funny?” Daniel says, finally punctuating the silence with something other than their breaths filling the room.

 

Jihoon shakes his head, wanting to dive into bed more than anything else. It’s been a while since he’s felt exhaustion take over like this, but he still manages to do some mind control and get out of bed to clean himself, then Daniel up.

 

They’re both glistening with sweat, Jihoon realises belatedly.

 

“Hey,” he whispers to Daniel, whose eyes are already half-closed. “Want to take a bath? Or should I just bring you a towel?”

 

Daniel mumbles something incoherent and Jihoon just deduces that he doesn’t want to get out of bed. Trudging across the room, Jihoon gets a new wet towel and only manages to clean Daniel’s face before realising he does not possess the energy nor motivation to help Daniel with the rest.

 

“You’re going?” Daniel tosses in his bed and manages to open his eyes ever so slightly.

 

“I’m tired too,” Jihoon reasons, looking around for his socks.

 

“Sleep here,” Daniel offers, moving aside on his bed to make space.

 

Cuddling is nice. Cuddling after sex is always very nice and comforting, Jihoon knows. But he’s afraid he may like Daniel a little too much to climb back into bed tonight. The silly, flirty jokes they’d shared while being intimate may be a little too much for Jihoon to handle, especially when he is looking for anything except a relationship right now.

 

“You’re too big for me to sleep there,” Jihoon scoffs. “Besides, you’re going to wake me up when you go out in the morning.”

 

“I have afternoon class,” Daniel replies. “You’ll fit, come on.”

 

He pats the bed once, and Jihoon is convinced. Fuck, maybe he just doesn’t want to spend the night alone, so he gives up on searching for his socks and grabs Daniel’s hand.

 

“Fine, I’ll stay. But if we’re going to be sleeping in the same bed, we’re both going to take a bath.”

 

 

 

 

 

_This is nice_ , Daniel thinks. Yes, Jihoon is right and the bed is a little bit too small to fit both their broad frames so he scooches closer to the wall to give Jihoon more space. Tonight was fun, he’s missed messing around and just being close to another human being.

 

School has been, to say the least, stressful, so tonight has been everything Daniel has wished for.

 

To have fun – without complicating things with feelings.

 

“Sleepy?”

 

“Not if you keep talking into my ear,” Jihoon snaps.

 

“I did all the work, I don’t know why you’re sleepy,” Daniel teases. “Besides, I thought you wanted to admire my abs again.”

 

He says it in Jihoon’s voice, just to irk the other even more.

 

The figure groans and delivers a light kick that Daniel cannot avoid.

 

“No round two,” Jihoon decides. “It’s been forever since I felt sleepy. Let me sleep.”

 

Daniel sighs, and sinks back into his pillow.

 

“Goodnight, Jihoon.”

 

“Goodnight, Daniel.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Good morning, partner.”

 

“Jihoon, it’s 12 noon,” Woojin eyes him from head to toe, looking very unamused at how Jihoon shows up sockless but not shoeless. (Daniel said he would help him look for his cute animal socks that somehow fell into the black hole in his room. And Jihoon is grateful for that.)

 

What he’s also grateful for is almost a full eight hours of sleep.

 

“So why are you here?” Jihoon retaliates, choosing to shift the focus to his friend and recently very irritable roommate.

 

“Morning classes got cancelled,” Woojin shrugs, slouching back into his bed. “Where have you been; Mr Creature of the Night? Sorry about yelling at you the other day, though. I was stressed, and my stupid professor gave me a C- on my latest test.”

 

“The one you actually studied for?”

 

“The one I actually studied for,” Woojin nods solemnly, putting his hand over his chest. “I now swear to you I will never study hard for any of his stupid tests again.”

 

Jihoon’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he quickly whips it out, thinking it may be Daniel finding his precious socks. And although it is from Daniel, it isn’t what he was expecting, really.

 

**Kang Daniel [12:05pm]**

Animal socks are nowhere to be found

I’m sorry

Maybe I can make it up to you tonight?

 

Jihoon just scoffs, typing back a very half-hearted answer to make sure Daniel finds his animal socks before they can ever start speaking again. After all, it is mostly _his_ fault that Jihoon lost them in the first place. Although… Jihoon is the one who wanted this to happen too.

 

…And probably wouldn’t mind happening again.

 

Woojin waves his hand in front of Jihoon’s face.

 

“Earth to Satan. Hey,” Woojin grunts. “I’m going out to get lunch are you coming or catching up on sleep – since you’re that person that sleeps when the sun is up and doesn’t when it’s out. I’m meeting my friend from the science department at the chicken place down the road.”

 

Chicken sounds good. Chicken sounds like heaven.

 

“I’m coming, let me put on a fresh shirt” Jihoon decides before anything else. His classes start late today so he’s going to be able to get a quick lunch and even jump back in the shower before going for class. All wide awake as well. Today is a really good day.

 

“You… okay?” Woojin looks concerned. “You look shiny or something. Different.”

 

Touching his face instinctively, Jihoon wonders if he stills has that after-sex glow (He’s definitely not going to be telling Woojin that, though.)

 

“Must be the face masks my mom dropped off last week,” Jihoon mumbles.

 

“Yeah… I need me some of that,” Woojin mumbles, already losing interest in this topic. He looks up at Jihoon. “Chicken?”

 

 

 

 

 

“Yo, Seongwoo hyung.”

 

“And… Seongwoo hyung’s _friend_.”

 

“It’s Daniel, Kang Daniel.”

 

Woojin just bows his head awkwardly, obviously not prepared for his science department friend’s friend to be here as well but neither is Jihoon and he’s sure as fuck Daniel isn’t prepared for this either.

 

He’s _still_ in that same Gucci shirt Jihoon left him in this morning.

 

“Well, okay. This is Park Jihoon, my friend. Language major.”

 

Daniel snickers in his seat and Jihoon has to send him his death glare to not say anything. Not even a squeak. Maybe he’ll walk Woojin through the graveness of this situation slowly later… but definitely not now. Not when Daniel is smirking and typing something into his phone and Jihoon’s phone rings immediately after Daniel turns his off.

 

“We both brought company,” Ong Seongwoo, Woojin’s handsome theatre major friend laughs rather awkwardly but the tension is slightly eased when their two chickens arrive and Jihoon dives into the food immediately.

 

Woojin and Seongwoo immediately go into some heated discussion about some gossip they’d heard from their other mutual friends and Jihoon is very interested in devouring his chicken until he feels something creeping up his leg.

 

“What,” he mouths at the criminal.

 

“Check your phone,” Daniel smiles sweetly at Seongwoo and Woojin after that, naturally joining in their conversation with gossip of his own to share.

 

Jihoon ignores Daniel, until he feels _his_ foot sliding dangerously up his calf again and almost chokes on his chicken.

 

He’s going to kill Kang Daniel later on. But now, he’s going to save his face first.

 

**Kang Daniel [1:00pm]**

Language major?

What language you were screaming in last night?

No wonder I couldn’t understand you sometimes.

 

**Park Jihoon [1:01pm]**

Fuck you

 

That sounds just about right. Chicken first, weirdly annoying and really handsome one-night stand later.

 

**Kang Daniel [1:03pm]**

If you teach me how to say that in Spanish, I’ll consider ;)

 

Jihoon promptly turns off his phone after that and purposely makes Woojin switch places with him, saying the aircon is blowing down directly at him and Woojin agrees quickly. Nothing much happens after that.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey, I was just fooling around back there. You’re not mad or anything, right?”

 

Daniel runs to catch up with the cherry pink head brisk-walking back in the direction of the dorms. Jihoon did mention his classes were always in the afternoon previously – and Daniel has classes of his own to be as well, but he just wants to make sure everything is cool.

 

“Well, _next time_ maybe try discussing with me in a civil manner about openly harassing me in the middle of my favourite chicken place. Now I’m scarred for life.”

 

Jihoon doesn’t look mad but his words do sting a little. Maybe Daniel went overboard with the teasing; it’s just that he can’t help it. That face, coupled with that really nice body that he would die for to spend another night with? His playful, puppy-like senses are tingling.

 

“It was hardly harassment,” Daniel tries to calm the boy down.

 

He doesn’t want to lose this – not when he’s just got another chance at another small pleasure in life.

 

“God, you’re lucky you’re cute, you know that?”

 

Jihoon continues walking like he never said that in the first place, but Daniel knows what his ears hear and what he really likes to hear. He grins, catching up to Jihoon easily with his long legs again.

 

“You think I’m cute?”

 

“I slept with you last night,” Jihoon blinks.

 

“Does this mean we get another shot?” Daniel intertwines their pinky fingers together – because they’re not a couple or anything like that. They’re just two people who are physically attracted to each other. Right? Mindless flirting, no feelings or shit.

 

Jihoon seems fine with that, a smile playing on his lips when he nods.

 

“Language jokes will severely affect my performance for the night,” he says gravely, and Daniel takes that very seriously.

 

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

 

“ _Fine_. I’ll see you when I see you, I guess.”

 

“Fuck yeah,” Daniel thinks and maybe says out loud. They’re cool. Jihoon’s cool with this. Daniel is super cool with this arrangement. They could work something out. And then with another pat on Jihoon’s shoulder he goes on his own way, no need to tell each other who’s going to text the other first or other cheesy things like that.

 

None of that, really.

 

 

 

 

 

Some things are better left unsaid. Jihoon is not the biggest fan of talking about problems, or feelings or anything that cannot be covered up with sarcasm as a defence mechanism. He’s also not a fan of talking when he’s out of breath – _God damn_ , Daniel is really good at this.

 

Burying his face into Daniel’s chest, he says, “Wait.”

 

“Me too,” Daniel gasps. “Time out.”

 

Their legs are tangled in the sheets, pillows and clothes strewn all over the floor and normally Jihoon would cringe at mess but there are better things to worry about for now. While catching his breath and threading his fingers through Daniel’s soft, brown hair, Jihoon realises that some things are better said before they snowball into bigger things.

 

“You know what this is, right?” Jihoon says, arms still around Daniel’s neck.

 

“Huh?” the other man replies absent-mindedly. Jihoon tells himself not to let this go to his ego.

 

“Like – this is _just_ hooking up. But more than once.”

 

Daniel lifts his head, flushed in the cheeks and he looks so good like that so Jihoon bends down to peck him on his lips. Sweet.

 

“You’re asking me if I know that you’re not interested in me _that_ way.”

 

“Well now that you put it that way it kind of makes me a bad person, don’t you think? I’m saying _you_ definitely don’t like me that way either. We’re just… really good at this together, right?”

 

Daniel lets Jihoon off his lap and Jihoon wonders if this is a good or bad sign. Bad if Daniel starts crying and having puffy eyes saying he thought they had something special between them- a spark, chemistry, fate or whatever. Because that would be bad.

 

“Jihoon, I am in no way looking for commitment right now except to that report waiting for me on my table to be handed in tomorrow.”

 

Thank God. He’s not losing Kang Daniel anytime soon.

 

“Well if we finish _this_ fast you’ll have enough time to finish that before sunrise.”

 

“Brave of you to assume I have my priorities in check.”

 

 

 

 

 

Woojin notices. Maybe even Donghan notices. The thing is – his pea sized brain friends are catching on faster than Jihoon can say “I’m having casual sex with this senior”. It’s not embarrassing, he knows of people who have done this and he’s sure his friends will have nothing against it.

 

“You look different,” Donghan points out one day when they’re having dinner together.

 

“See!” Woojin slams his hand on the table. “ _Exactly_ what I’ve been saying the past week!”

 

“Daehwi?” they both turn to their last friend and probably the smartest of the lot.

 

“I guess? Did you lose some weight? Maybe changed up your fashion sense- oh wait it’s definitely not that; you’re still wearing that ridiculous jacket. Sorry, I don’t pay as much attention to Jihoon hyung as the rest of you.”

 

“ _Rude_ ,” Jihoon sneers. “Plus, I told you it was those amazing face masks my mom brought over from Jeju last week.”

 

“Maybe so,” Donghan humours him. “But you’ve been waiting on your phone for some text that’s supposed to come all evening. Come on, we _all_ took the blood oath. You have to tell us if you’re dating, that’s the rule!”

 

“We did no such thing,” Jihoon assures Daehwi who looks very shocked and not at all happy with this new piece of information that Donghan is presenting to them. “And I am not dating anyone except my favourite Bae Jinyoung.”

 

Jihoon smiles dreamily at his lock screen.

 

“They made an app where you can talk to idols and they can reply to you. I’m waiting for his good night text. Technology is so advanced these days and I am all for it.”

 

“You’re nuts,” Woojin just shakes his head. “Daehwi, tell him he’s nuts. And obsessed. And delusional.”

 

“Bae Jinyoung is really handsome, I binge watched the entire series of his new drama today. I don’t really blame Jihoon hyung, sorry.”

 

Woojin looks pointedly at Donghan for back up.

 

Donghan looks at Jihoon.

 

“What’s the name of that app?”

 

“Obsessed, delusional, _and_ useless,” Woojin declares.

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel needs to watch infinity war. He’d originally planned to go to the premiere with Seongwoo and assumed there was some bro-code agreement between them because he’s _that_ marvel nerd between both of them but Seongwoo says he’s watching it with his girlfriend and Daniel can’t say anything about that, can he?

 

He just wallows in sorrow at his major lack of girlfriend, or boyfriend or any friend.

 

And then he remembers: he has _one_ friend left.

 

“I said if you made a language major joke I would blue-ball you for three days _at least_. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Maybe give your man pride some thought before calling me, geez.”

 

There he is – the friend perpetually with poison in his mouth and the one who is going to save Daniel tonight.

 

“I’m not going to stare at you tonight; I’m going to stare at Tom Holland instead.”

 

Jihoon sounds confused and rightfully so, “Huh?”

 

Daniel checks the timing and quickly books the seats on his laptop while holding the phone between his ear and shoulder.

 

“We’re going to see infinity war. Grab your jacket and meet me outside in ten. We can still make it for the commercials.”

 

Jihoon sounds like he’s contemplating something very important.

 

“What’s in it for me?”

 

“You’re the only one still awake at this time, I already bought the tickets and,” Daniel lets out a sigh at his wallet that is about to take a big blow tonight. “And I’ll be buying the popcorn and hotdogs.”

 

He hears cheering on the other end of the line.

 

“You got yourself a deal.”

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe friends with benefits doesn’t just mean the benefits _only_ have to include sex.

 

If he’s going to be getting free tickets, free food and decent company for the night maybe Jihoon can be a little happier with his life. Daniel meets him outside the school exactly ten minutes after he puts the phone down.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Jihoon asks.

 

Well, consent is always important.

 

“ _What_ \- about watching a movie with you? No worries, I don’t catch feelings over a stupid movie date or anything like that-“

 

“No, I mean about the hole I’m about to burn in your wallet.”

 

 

 

 

 

“No take backs,” Jihoon whispers to Daniel when they’re in the queue for the food. He grabs onto Daniel’s hand just so he doesn’t run away but he’s sure the three girls at the corner think they’re a couple because they keep giggling at their intertwined hands.

 

Jihoon just doesn’t want his golden chicken to run away.

 

“You really are the devils incarnate,” Daniel replies, taking out his wallet.

 

“Ooh, credit card, too?” Jihoon hollers when Daniel fishes out a sleek black card from his wallet and puts it in his waiting hands. “You’re a keeper for sure.”

 

Jihoon leans over the counter to take charge and to make sure Daniel doesn’t pull any shit with the person in charge of the food. He orders them hotdogs, popcorn both sweet and salty and some coke to wash down everything after.

 

“Is the cinema packed?” Daniel asks from behind as Jihoon gathers the loot in his arms. It proves too much of a job for Jihoon, so Daniel just sighs exasperatedly and helps him with the drinks.

 

“Not really. It’s a midnight movie,” the counter guy shrugs.

 

“Great,” Jihoon smiles impishly. “Perfect for making out during the scary parts, then.”

 

“The scary parts of infinity war?” Daniel looks at him quizzically.

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon winks. “Especially the part when spider man dies.”

 

He watches in accomplishment as Daniel’s jaw hangs loose and his eyes widen in sudden realization that Jihoon is not joking.

 

“Fuck you!”

 

Daniel’s screams echo throughout the cinema and Jihoon is not sure if the three girls from before still think that they’re the cutest couple ever.

 

 

 

 

 

“ _Please_. I said I was sorry a thousand times, I really am.”

 

Daniel stomps his entire way back to the dorms, showing how pissed off he is with Jihoon for spoiling the movie he’s been waiting to see forever. Jihoon is relentless in his apologies and even tries to make out with Daniel during the movie just to make up for it.

 

(Maybe he’d given in just for a few seconds.)

 

“Come on, Niel hyuuungg.”

 

He’s even using that voice he knows gets Daniel riled up. And he’s calling Daniel _hyung_ now too- he never calls him _hyung_. Finally, he stops. Jihoon bangs into his back, hard.

 

“Ow,” Jihoon rubs his nose. “Asshole.”

 

“You’re in no position to curse at me,” Daniel folds his arms.

 

“You know I couldn’t resist it. I’m basically a magnet for doing evil and bad things! I’m sorry for spoiling the movie and for Spiderman dying- _shit_ this is really not helping, is it? I’m the worst at apologies but hey, they’re making an Avengers 4 and if Spiderman doesn’t come back alive I will-“

 

Daniel grabs Jihoon and kisses him. Hard.

 

Under the third lamppost away from their college’s main entrance.

 

It’s not like they’ve never kissed, they’ve probably kissed too many times to count now but none of them were ever like this. Daniel’s not being greedy and Jihoon is not being playful – they’re just being them, kissing under the lamppost past midnight and _shit_.

 

Daniel stops.

 

“I think we need to go to your room,” Jihoon decides.

 

“Yeah,” Daniel nods. “Come on.”

 

Because they’re not _like that_. They can’t just kiss without everything else. That’s what _couples_ do.

 

_That’s_ what they are definitely not.

 

 

 

 

 

“Do we need rules?”

 

“Jihoon, that’s not helping with the mood. Not at all.”

 

Daniel leans forward to kiss Jihoon again – and maybe because if anyone asked him about his favourite part of Jihoon it would be his plush and pink lips that taste really sweet and something Daniel has been getting used to. This time, the kiss is more to shut the other boy up because Daniel cannot stand getting interrupted right now.

 

“You’re right,” Jihoon sighs.

 

Daniel smiles, helping Jihoon lie down on his back and making sure the other boy is comfortable before latching his lips onto his neck.

 

“Woah,” Jihoon gasps. “Wait.”

 

“What,” Daniel groans. Tonight hasn’t been off to a great start. Jihoon keeps talking about rules and interrupting the entire atmosphere while Daniel just really wants to get this show on the road.

 

“No,” Jihoon shakes his head, pursing his lips. “That tickles a little.”

 

“You sure?” Daniel doesn’t want to do anything the boy is uncomfortable with. He stops, peering into Jihoon’s eyes because boy does he let his feelings show in those star-filled eyes. He thinks he gets the message. “You don’t want me to leave any marks – is that what this is about?”

 

Jihoon nods, “It felt really nice the last time, but I think Woojin noticed it even though I tried my best to cover it up. And I haven’t told him about our arrangement… yet.”

 

He’s so innocent. So pure.

 

Well, sometimes.

 

“Okay. I won’t do it anymore,” Daniel promises. “Is this what you meant by rules?”

 

Jihoon frowns, “It’s _not_ a rule. It’s an opinion from me to you. A thought, a heads-up, something for you to keep in mind-”

 

“Alright, smarty-pants. Let’s do something else other than talking about rules.”

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel’s right. They don’t need any rules. Having rules would just complicate the whole situation and make them uncomfortable whenever they break the rules. Friends don’t have rules between them, and neither do couples. Jihoon thinks they’re something somewhat in between the two so they don’t need rules as well.

 

“And I’ve known Donghan since we were kids in my hometown. He’s kind of clingy and has that best friend complex when it comes to me? He’s really nice, though.”

 

Neither of them is sleepy tonight. Usually, they fall back to sleep just before sunrise but this time, Jihoon is weirdly wide awake so Daniel says he can talk to him about his life and all just to pass time.

 

“He sounds nice, too,” Daniel smiles, shoving another gummy bear into his mouth.

 

“They’re all nice,” Jihoon decides. “I mean- to put up with someone like me, you have to be a really nice person.”

 

“Guess I deserve an award,” comes Daniel’s snarky reply, earning him a gentle punch.

 

_Gentle_ in Jihoon’s book.

 

“What about relationships?” Daniel asks. “Dating and all that. You’ve definitely dated before. Girls? Boys? Both? Tell me everything.”

 

“What – so you can use it against me?” Jihoon unravels Daniel’s evil plan because he’s smart like that but finds himself opening up anyway. Daniel’s easy to talk to. He doesn’t judge or try to overstep his boundaries so Jihoon finds himself showing more and more of what is inside of him to Daniel. And not just physically.

 

He tries to recall, “I think I first dated a girl in high school. It was puppy love for sure. We met when I was failing math and she offered to help me out. She was really smart; always getting #1 in our class.”

 

“Guess you’re just naturally attracted to smart people,” Daniel chimes in, grinning and pretending to flip his hair back.

 

Jihoon just ignores him. He doesn’t want to feed into that already too huge ego that Kang Daniel has.

 

“We broke up because she liked this older guy and I guess I wasn’t really into the relationship either.”

 

_Lee Soojin._ Jihoon still remembers her name because well, she was really pretty and Jihoon did feel his heart beat at least once or twice for her.

 

“And then came _the boy_ ,” Jihoon knows this is when Daniel really starts paying attention because he stops eating his gummy bears and listens. “We started seeing each other in my last year in high school. I think I knew I always liked both girls and guys but I thought I was more into girls at that time, so it was a shock when I started having these feelings for this really good looking barista at the café near my house.”

 

“Oh my God, spare me the cliché!”

 

They’re both laughing and Jihoon agrees with Daniel because _boy_ had their love been cliché. Shy glances being exchanged across the room and Jihoon blowing all his money to try out coffee until he was brave enough to ask for the other boy’s number and a date.

 

“Wait, he must’ve been old to be working as a barista,” Daniel calculates.

 

“Older than you,” Jihoon nods bashfully. “Just by a year.”

 

“4 years,” Daniel pretends to shake his head disapprovingly. “You’re an animal.”

 

“In my defence he was really handsome and always treated me to good food after school. It was the first time I really felt loved? In the end I think we both knew that it wasn’t going to work out – maybe I was too immature back then and he was just the opposite.”

 

“Aw,” Daniel coos, stroking Jihoon’s hair gently to comfort him. “Our Jihoonie’s all grown up now.”

 

“Shut up,” Jihoon growls, swatting Daniel’s hand away.

 

“You miss him?” Daniel asks after a while.

 

“Sometimes,” Jihoon says softly. It took him awhile to admit this to himself. He’s never even told Donghan about this – the person who brought him ice-cream and bad movies to get over that ugly breakup. “I think it was worse because I knew we wouldn’t last forever.”

 

“Nothing lasts forever.”

 

Jihoon knows Daniel is just trying to say whatever to comfort him, but all it does is make his heart hurt a little more.

 

Hiding his face between his knees, Jihoon smiles, “Then let’s be nothing.”

 

Daniel doesn’t smile back at him, but he does tell Jihoon about his own ugly breakup stories and they both laugh and agree that this is so much better – being nothing, having no rules and no expectations.

 

Because then there would be not disappointment.

 

 

 

 

 

They can’t hide forever. His friends find out in the most embarrassing way. They’re all gathered in Jihoon’s and Woojin’s room one morning; just chilling and doing friend stuff like talking shit about their professors and annoying classmates and talking about who is dating who right now and _woah_ \- weren’t they dating different people last week? It’s all fun and games until someone knocks on the door and barges in because their door is never locked.

 

“Hey, you left your phone at my place earlier and- _oh_. Hello.”

 

Woojin is halfway through a prawn cracker and Donghan chokes on his juice while Daehwi is the only sane one with manners to say hello back to the stranger at the door.

 

“Oh,” Jihoon just fumbles stupidly with his hands while getting his phone back. “Wait.”

 

He remembers something and runs to his cupboard, taking out a black hoodie.

 

“I washed it,” Jihoon smiles proudly while returning it to Daniel.

 

“That’s where it disappeared to,” Daniel can still make a joke even when there are three more pairs of eyes staring back at them. And Jihoon really doesn’t want to make it weird by treating Daniel like the plague in front of his friends because it’s not embarrassing, he swears.

 

“This is Kang Daniel. Woojin you met him before. That’s Donghan and that’s Daehwi.”

 

“Hi everyone,” Daniel waves.

 

They all mumble an incoherent welcome.

 

_Boys_.

 

“You’re going back to sleep?” Jihoon eyes Daniel’s slippers and loose t-shirt he has on.

 

“Going to the gym,” Daniel explains, patting his stomach. “I’ve been skimping out the past week.”

 

“Boy do I know,” Jihoon mumbles under his breath only meant for Daniel to hear. “Thanks for coming over.”

 

Daniel says goodbye to Jihoon’s friends and leaves quickly, humming a song Jihoon does not recognise and Woojin pins him down onto his bed once Daniel is out of sight.

 

“You’re screwing with my friend’s friend?”

 

“In my defence I knew him before you introduced us the other day!” Jihoon screams and puts his hands up in surrender. He might be stronger than Woojin but he’s not so sure he should be acting out especially when Donghan is glaring at him from across the room like that and Daehwi is shooting him a scandalized look.

 

“What the actual fuck, Jihoon!”

 

“How does that even work?” Donghan asks. “So, you’re dating?”

 

“No, no, no! God, no. We’re _not_ dating.”

 

“They just sleep together sometimes,” Daehwi rolls his eyes, going to Woojin’s fridge to fetch himself a yoghurt.

 

Well, at least _someone_ understands.

 

“You’re friends with benefits?” Woojin yelps.

 

“Well, when you say it like that it sounds bad. It’s not like those you see in chick flicks or whatever. We just enjoy each other’s company and we both need help sleeping at night. It’s a good exchange.”

 

Daehwi plugs in his earphones and Donghan joins them on the three-person hamburger on the bed.

 

“You know none of those ever end well, right?” Donghan says.

 

Jihoon begs to differ. Everything is going just fine.

 

“He’s right. Someone always catches feelings for the other. Knowing the closet romantic that you are, I’m placing my bet on _you_ because he looks like a fuckboy.”

 

Jihoon laughs. Kang Daniel is _anything_ but a fuckboy.

 

“We’re doing fine,” Jihoon waves his hand to dismiss his friend’s concerns. “He’s not looking for a relationship because it’s his final year in the pre-med programme and I’m not _that_ stupid to fall in love with someone that is graduating next year. Please, I have a life to live.”

 

“But,” Woojin prompts.

 

“But for now,” Jihoon grins accomplishedly. “He’s hot, right?”

 

“I won’t argue with you on that,” Daehwi butts in at the same time they all simultaneously yell. “I thought you weren’t listening!”

 

“You’re stupid,” Woojin concludes and Donghan nods in agreement.

 

Finally, Jihoon can sit up and check his phone because he’s sure he heard it ring from before. He mentally shuts his ears while his friends start to seriously debate his life decisions and come to the conclusion that Jihoon is an idiot.

 

**Niel Hyung [10:43am]**

Your friends are scary lol

 

**Niel Hyung [10:55am]**

(image attached)

Gym progress proof shot!

 

**Park Jihoon [10:57am]**

Not good enough

I want my washboard abs back

 

**Niel hyung [11:00am]**

Then join me in the gym

Imagine if we both had abs

 

His friends are worrying for nothing. They’re also too invested in their chick flicks and movies to give actual advice to Jihoon. Jihoon is definitely not going to catch any sort of feelings for a gym rat and neither is Daniel. Maybe this is the only unwritten rule that they’re going to need.

 

Don’t fall for the other.

 

Pretty easy to obey, right?

 

 

 

 

 

_Nope_ , Daniel realises.

 

He’s never going to finish this report on time. Just why did he have to wait till the last minute to start on it, anyway? He curses at himself but presses on because he still needs that grade. Submission is in four hours and if he concentrates he’s sure he can pull through with a decent B. He giggles, thinking how Jihoon would tease him for thinking too highly of himself just because he is a pre-med student.

 

Damn it, when did he even start thinking about Park Jihoon this much anyway?

 

 

 

 

 

He finishes and submits his report with five minutes to spare by some sort of miracle.

 

Someone knocks on his door, revealing a friendly face when Daniel invites his guest in.

 

“Jisung hyung!” he grins, wrapping his friend in a hug.

 

“Just stopping by to see my favourite pre-med boy,” Jisung ruffles his hair.

 

“Don’t lie,” Daniel sticks out his tongue. “Sungwoon hyung is in the north cafeteria. I _know_ because Seongwoo hyung told me.”

 

Jisung pretends to laugh it off. Daniel wants to feel offended but they’re cute, so he lets Jisung off the hook this time.

 

“We’re going to the new burger joint down the road. You want to come with?”

 

“Ah- that newly opened one? I was planning to go with _Ji_ -“

 

Daniel stops himself before he voices his thoughts out loud.

 

“A _friend_ ,” he clears his throat. “Sorry hyung, I promised I would go with my other friend this week and you know I’m a broke final year student.”

 

Jisung doesn’t say anything about Daniel’s small slip up. Instead, he pats Daniel’s back sympathetically and says, “Well, it’s nice to know you’re still making an effort to go out with your friends. I was afraid final year would suck the energy out of you, honestly.”

 

“Ey, hyung, I’m still going to see you in med school next year.”

 

“Boy do I look forward to that,” Jisung rolls his eyes. “I’m going off, bye!”

 

Daniel bids goodbye to his friend and slumps back into his chair. Since when did he make silent plans to make Jihoon come with him to the new burger joint? And since when has Jihoon become of his busy schedule? Jihoon is supposed to come at night only. They’re practically strangers during the day. Even without himself knowing, Jihoon has already occupied a small part of his world – both day and night.

 

It’s okay, Daniel convinces himself. They’re friends.

 

They can go out and have a meal together if they want to.

 

He picks up his phone and calls Jihoon.

 

 

 

 

 

“Heavenly,” Jihoon sighs as he sinks his teeth into the burger in front of him.

 

“Good, huh,” Daniel watches as Jihoon stuffs his mouth with their signature curly fries.

 

It’s crowded on a Friday night, but this is the only day Jihoon doesn’t have classes till late, so they manage to snag a seat in the corner. Truth to be told, the burgers do live up to the buzz they’ve created in school ever since its opening last week.

 

“Last time I had something this good was back home,” Jihoon explains. “You should try them once.”

 

He stops himself there. He shouldn’t be making future plans with Daniel because he’s sure that’s another unwritten rule somewhere in the world of friends with benefits.

 

“You should show me around then,” Daniel replies easily, and Jihoon relaxes again.

 

That sounds nice. Eating, seeing the sea and having fun with Daniel in Masan. A pity it’ll never actually happen.

 

“And stop talking with your mouth full. You have sauce on the side of your lips. What a child.”

 

Jihoon frowns, attempts to lick his lips clean, with his mouth and hands still full.

 

“Whegre?” his voice is muffled.

 

Daniel sighs, taking the liberty to wipe Jihoon’s lips with his own thumb.

 

“Ew,” Jihoon sticks his tongue out at Daniel childishly.

 

“You’re such a handful sometimes.”

 

Jihoon starts to enjoy the little moments like this. It doesn’t _always_ have to be sex with Daniel. It can be having fun and eating burgers in the joint down the road. Thank God because they’re still hungry college boys who don’t always have to just use each other in _that way_.

 

“Gross. Does this place serve people like them, too?”

 

Jihoon’s appetite plummets when a sneer interrupts their wonderful dinner. He glances at the table beside them and finds a group of grown men and women glaring at them, probably gathering here for a company dinner or something.

 

“Are you talking about us, Ahjusshi?”

 

“I’m talking to you _and_ your boyfriend,” the same voice snaps. “You’re ruining our dinner with your disgusting actions.”

 

There are voices of agreement from all around the table. Some students turn to look at them, clearly disgusted with the actions of the grownups. But no one speaks out – Jihoon understands. It’s not their business.

 

“You think we’re disgusting?” Daniel’s voice is low and threatening, nothing Jihoon has ever heard before.

 

It’s kind of hot, actually.

 

“Yes. We want you both to leave immediately. Or I will call the manager to have you kicked out.”

 

With just a glance, a million words are exchanged between both of them.

 

Jihoon smiles, “Then I hope you find _this_ more disgusting.”

 

Daniel kisses him first – always excited to get things started. Jihoon enjoys that, feeling his face heat up not from the embarrassment but from the mere passion Daniel kisses him with. Their lips find their places in this dance and Daniel nibbles on his lower lip, looking for an entrance in.

 

He hears cheers from students and feels his cheeks heat up.

 

Jihoon is not the biggest fan of public affection but just to spite everyone else watching he allows it. He hears groans and cheers at the same time when Daniel slips his tongue into Jihoon’s mouth and everything from then on is a hot mess. Their hands are fumbling for something to hold onto and Jihoon guides Daniel very specifically to his waist.

 

When they part to take a rest, Daniel is practically glowing with a shy smile.

 

“ _You’re_ the child,” Jihoon snaps back.

 

The manager arrives and asks the adult group to leave because they’re being a nuisance in public and Jihoon waves them goodbye while Daniel snuggles his waist, clearly putting up a good show for the displeased adults.

 

“We make a great fucking team,” Daniel says when the interrupters are gone, and they can finally return to their burgers that have gone cold.

 

Somehow, it doesn’t taste any worse from before. If anything, it tastes better.

 

He holds out a fist, and Jihoon bumps it with his own contentedly.

 

 

 

 

 

“How the fuck are you not tired of me yet?”

 

Daniel’s laugh is contagious, especially when he throws his head back and does that stupid smile along with it. He curls up in bed next to Jihoon almost after, chest against back. Jihoon wants to say something about taking a bath but Daniel slings his arm around Jihoon, trapping him.

 

They’re definitely not cuddling. Not big spoon or little spoon shit. Jihoon just needs awhile to catch his breath.

 

“Well, you’re nice…” Jihoon tries to say something not related to Daniel’s body because well… now is probably not the time and he’s sure Daniel already knows that.

 

Daniel laughs again. He’s never sure what’s funny to Daniel anymore.

 

“Fucking irresistible and cute, I know,” Daniel mumbles, burying his face into the crook of Jihoon’s neck, tickling him slightly. “But I don’t know – I don’t understand. It’s been a month, maybe more. You’re not tired?”

 

“I never get tired,” Jihoon deadpans. “I think that’s the whole point of insomnia. I can’t fall asleep.”

 

“You know what I mean,” Daniel chides, teasing smacking Jihoon’s butt. “You can say you want _out_ whenever you want.”

 

“ _I_ decide when I want out, thank you,” Jihoon says.

 

They fall back into a comfortable silence.

 

“I need to study,” Daniel suddenly says. “You want to jump into the shower before I do?”

 

“Yes. I’m sticky,” Jihoon finds himself agreeing quickly.

 

“This is the part where you say, _‘want to join me?_ ’,” Daniel crosses his arms. “I’m waiting.”

 

“Shut up,” Jihoon just laughs, flipping Daniel off.

 

But he still lets Daniel wrestle his way into the bath in the end.

 

 

 

 

 

“That was hot, by the way. The thing you did back in the restaurant.”

 

By now, Jihoon knows they’re stranger than any other one out there. It’s almost five in the morning and they’ve both just taken a bath. Daniel’s hair is still wet, but he’s bent over in his study chair and flipping through his notes as if that’s the most normal thing to do right now.

 

But it’s normal – for them, at least.

 

“You like it when I’m all big bad wolf and shit? Weird, but okay. Acceptable.”

 

Jihoon lets Daniel have his moment. He deserves that for sticking through with Jihoon anyway.

 

“You didn’t have to do it, but you did.”

 

Daniel swirls around in his chair, facing Jihoon.

 

“I just felt like I had to protect you – _us_.”

 

Maybe Jihoon had felt the same way; that’s why he spoke up in the first place. He didn’t bother correcting the man when he’d called them _boyfriends_ , not that it was of any importance back there but Jihoon just wanted to put him in his place because no one, and he means absolutely _no one_ should be allowed talk to him or Daniel like that.

 

“Aw,” Jihoon doesn’t let himself get soft then. “Shall I towel your hair as a ‘thank you’?”

 

“Be my guest,” Daniel grins.

 

Towelling your friend’s hair is intimate. Then again, having sex with your friend multiple times is very intimate and they seem to have no problem with that so far. Jihoon gulps as he tries his very best to maintain a straight face while drying Daniel’s hair and making sure to reach behind his ears while Daniel recites some science terms Jihoon does not understand.

 

It’s okay because Jihoon makes sure not to have any feelings for Daniel. None at all.

 

Not even when Daniel’s wearing the plainest of white shirts and putting on his glasses to squint at his handwriting he can’t even recognise. Not even then.

 

So he just ignores the pang in his chest and finishes as fast as he can manage.

 

“Hey, you’re going to bed?” Daniel grabs Jihoon’s wrist before he leaves.

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon lies through his teeth, because he thinks the lie would be much better than the truth right now. “I suddenly feel sleepy.”

 

“Alright, go to sleep then. Maybe I’ll join you later. I don’t know, I don’t really want to go to sleep right now,” Daniel smiles sheepishly, almost as if he’s apologetic that he can’t join Jihoon in bed this time.

 

But that’s okay. Jihoon doesn’t need Daniel by his side to fall asleep.

 

“Thanks for drying my hair,” Daniel says, just to fill the silence.

 

And then he has to tuck Jihoon in his bed and kiss him on his forehead.

 

“Sweet dreams.”

 

Jihoon tosses and turns and doesn’t even get a wink of sleep. Not until Daniel crawls into bed maybe one, two hours later, he doesn’t know because he loses track of time. Daniel tries his best not to wake Jihoon, but little does he know Jihoon hasn’t slept at all. It does help, though, when Jihoon feels a familiar warm body curl up next to his.

 

Maybe he sleeps for a little while after that.

 

 

 

 

 

If you asked Daniel for a list of things to do at 3am two months ago, grocery shopping would definitely not be on his list.

 

But it sure is now.

 

“No, not that brand,” he argues for the fifth time already with the boy in the red hoodie sitting in their trolley. The audacity of Park Jihoon to assume that Daniel is going to be the one to push the trolley when they’re grocery shopping – _and_ let him dictate which kind of ramen they’re going to buy.

 

He’s pretty sure the cashier wants to call the police on them for being a nuisance already.

 

“Not that you have any say in it anyway,” Daniel follows up, snatching the piece of paper from Jihoon’s hands. “It’s _my_ grocery shopping list.”

 

“And sometimes I get hungry after _you-know-what_ too and what am I going to do when I’m short on ramen in the middle of the night?” Jihoon counters with his own perfectly sculptured argument. Daniel doesn’t even know how he does that. “Are _you_ going to take responsibility, Kang Daniel?”

 

“But yours doesn’t hit the spot like mine does.”

 

The cashier coughs twice and they both stare at him.

 

“That came out wrong, didn’t it,” Daniel mumbles under his breath as he grabs a few packets of Jihoon’s recommendation and dumps it into the trolley. Anything to keep Jihoon’s mouth shut. He’s been sleeping over a lot more these days.

 

“Yup,” Jihoon whispers very awkwardly. “Come on, we should move onto the cereal section where he can’t see us.”

 

Daniel wheels Jihoon away much to the obvious delight of the cashier.

 

 

 

 

 

“Woojin’s back on his gym diet which I’m sure he will fail in three days but we all humour him anyway. Donghan is struggling with his projects – poor boy, he always lands up with the worst project partners. Even though he eats on my bed all the time he doesn’t deserve that. Daehwi is just being the smartest out of all of us and minding his own business and getting those As he deserves.”

 

Daniel doesn’t ask to be updated on Jihoon’s friend’s lives but he’s sure glad he is.

 

It feels like they’re really friends and not just friends with benefits although he would now argue that the benefits include a lot more things than what majority would think.

 

Including grocery shopping.

 

“What about that girl in your class you thought your professor had the hots for?”

 

Daniel doesn’t even mean to memorise all the gossip Jihoon has filled him in on every now and then. He’s not even well-versed in that area – it’s more of Sungwoon’s and Jisung’s job to act like the mean girls of their college but he hasn’t seen them in a while.

 

Slowly but surely, Jihoon has been taking up a lot of Daniel’s time.

 

Jihoon makes a face, “I heard her talking to her friends and I think he asked her if she wanted him to be his sugar daddy.”

 

“Isn’t he like forty?”

 

Jihoon just shrugs, “The power of money.”

 

He then grabs two of Daniel’s favourite cereal from the shelf and dumps it into the cart along with some of the juice, milk and gummies they’d picked up earlier. Jihoon looks tiny and honestly like a five-year-old in the trolley surrounded by food. He just glares at Daniel and asks him to push the trolley to the next aisle.

 

Daniel is not stupid, he has considered the fact that maybe Jihoon and him wouldn’t be so bad together.

 

Jihoon and Daniel.

 

Daniel and Jihoon.

 

It doesn’t sound wrong, but it just doesn’t sound right enough.

 

Besides, Daniel is sure Jihoon deserves much, much, more than someone who tells him that he’s not looking for a relationship but continues to ask him out every time he’s craving a new sort of food or ask him over whenever he wants to have someone to cuddle with.

 

“Kang Daniel stop lagging and push the trolley. Are you even listening to me?”

 

“Huh? Oh, yeah.”

 

But sometimes, when Daniel thinks about someone else other than himself wrapping their arms around Jihoon and feeling his heart beat against their own, his stomach twists in the weirdest ways and it leaves a not so nice feeling in his mouth. The thought itself makes Daniel think of ugly things – all just to keep Jihoon by his side.

 

Until when? That is the real question.

 

“We can compromise. Since we got my favourite ramen, we can get your favourite beer. Although I would still argue that Hite is one of the best-“

 

He kisses Jihoon because he’s allowed to do so. Their silent agreement says he can, so he makes the most out of it while he still can. Daniel knows they’re running on already borrowed time and he doesn’t want to waste a second of it, so he does the most sane thing he can think of: he kisses Park Jihoon.

 

Jihoon always lets him.

 

“You okay?” Jihoon pulls away shortly after, looking worried.

 

“Yeah,” Daniel gasps because he’s not really okay.

 

“Okay,” Jihoon nods like he _knows_ Daniel’s not okay, but he doesn’t really want to talk about it right now. He tips his chin back up so that they can continue kissing until Daniel wraps his arms around Jihoon to pull him out of the trolley.

 

Jihoon’s thighs circle naturally around his waist, and the other soon takes the lead when he finds himself slightly above Daniel.

 

It feels weird, to be kissing in public.

 

Not that anyone is looking – or maybe the cashier is still watching them through some hidden camera or something. Daniel doesn’t care. All he really cares about is how he’s starting to think more about keeping Jihoon happy with his favourite brand of ramen so he doesn’t run away and leave Daniel behind.

 

“Daniel,” Jihoon pauses, only to get peppered by hungry kisses again. “Niel.”

 

Daniel stops. His head is spinning.

 

“You’re crying,” Jihoon mumbles, running his thumb over Daniel’s wet cheek.

 

What?

 

Daniel sniffles, “I think I’m just- really tired. I tear up when I lack sleep.”

 

“Well you should have told me,” Jihoon chides. “You want to let me down?”

 

He lets Jihoon down, but the other boy doesn’t let go of his hand; as if he knows that Daniel is lying.

 

His legs lose their strength and he crumbles to the floor.

 

“Come on Niel. We’ll bring the stuff to the cashier, then we’ll go home and sleep. Okay?”

 

Not okay. Home is where Daniel goes to when he wants to feel safe. Home is where his mother cooks his favourite beef stew and home is where Daniel gets to feel what he wants to feel without the fear of being judged.

 

Jihoon is not supposed to be _at_ home.

 

Daniel just shakes his head weakly as he rests against the soups aisle.

 

Jihoon just sighs and sits beside him.

 

“You want to sleep here? This is the grocery store.”

 

“Just a little while,” Daniel says.

 

Jihoon pets his hand lightly.

 

“Okay, just for a little while.”

 

He’ll stay, even if it’s just for a little while.

 

 

 

 

 

It feels like clockwork. Midterms; that is. Lectures, going to the library after lectures to study and finish up his essays and then grabbing a quick dinner before going back to the library. All this so that he doesn’t fall behind. His body is tired, but his mind never stops working.

 

And Daniel – he hasn’t seen Daniel in a long time.

 

Which should be the way, really. Jihoon is sure the other boy is cooped up in his room trying his best to study for exams anyway. Now is not the time to think about how long they haven’t seen each other nor sent each other a text.

 

17 days.

 

Not that Jihoon is counting.

 

Somehow it feels like everything is spiralling out of control and he’s being dragged along. He misses the quiet nights, the ones where they are the only two people awake, and they don’t have to worry about anything else.

 

“Hello, stranger.”

 

One word is all it takes for everything to fall back into place.

 

“Niel, _hi_.”

 

They wrap each other in a warm hug right in front of everyone else in the library. Not that anyone is looking because they’re all too caught up in their own studying but if they are, Jihoon couldn’t care any less. Daniel smells like _Daniel_ and Jihoon smiles into the crook of his neck.

 

“You look like crap,” Daniel giggles, not letting go.

 

Jihoon doesn’t want to be the one to let go first, either.

 

“That’s such a nice thing to say to someone you haven’t talked to or texted in three weeks.”

 

“Don’t blame the player,” Daniel kisses his nose lightly, making his heart flutter. Just a little. Because it’s been forever since he’s received affection, and definitely not because it’s Daniel.

 

“Blame the game, huh,” Jihoon shoots back, with no menace. “I missed you.”

 

“Me too,” Daniel replies immediately like he already had his response rehearsed and prepared in advance. “You need sleep. Come on.”

 

Jihoon doesn’t argue. He doesn’t say something snarky like _“I think that’s the point of insomnia, but you see, that’s also the problem”._ He nods and allows Daniel’s hands to slip into the back pocket of his jeans when he leads Jihoon out of the library.

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel tries to go cold turkey.

 

Key word: tries.

 

Midterms should be enough of an excuse to bail on your casual sex partner and it looks like Jihoon doesn’t really have a problem with that, considering how he hasn’t even texted Daniel once. Not even a “good luck” or “hope you fail haha” or anything Jihoon like.

 

Nothing.

 

He tries to take it as a sign for him to finally sober up and get his life in order by studying hard and looking for his professors for extra classes just to keep him busy. So that he doesn’t have to think about how he wishes Jihoon were here with him.

 

The nightmares come back. They don’t stop. Daniel tries to stay up late to study so he doesn’t have to go to sleep, he even tries to sleep in Seongwoo’s room, but his roommate had kicked him out after a pathetic two days. Seongwoo had apologised after.

 

And just like you see in the movies and in real life, going cold turkey is _never_ easy. It doesn’t end well.

 

“I think you miss him,” Seongwoo says. “You keep looking at your phone like you’re expecting something. I think you’re smart enough to know that text is _not_ coming.”

 

“I don’t expect anything – I thought that was the whole point of the friends with benefits arrangement.”

 

“You really think that, Niel?” Seongwoo scoffs, handing Daniel a cup of instant coffee.

 

“Think what,” Daniel replies, knowing what Seongwoo is getting at but he just doesn’t want to be the one to say it. Maybe he’s being a brat but saying it out loud would make it real.

 

“Let. Him. Go.”

 

Seongwoo gives Daniel’s shoulders a squeeze.

 

“It only starts to hurt more from now on.”

 

 

 

 

 

“P-please Niel,” Jihoon bites so hard down on his lower lip he’s afraid it’s going to draw blood. It’s not really his priority right now when Daniel is nibbling at his neck.

 

“Still no marks?” Daniel asks, waiting for Jihoon’s confirmation before moving on.

 

“No,” Jihoon shakes his head. “ _Please_ leave marks.”

 

He runs his fingers all over Daniel’s body, making sure he commits to memory his collarbones, his shoulders and Jihoon’s personal favourite washboard abs. He’s going to have to remember to praise Daniel for that later. Midterms has nothing on gym rat Kang Daniel. Jihoon would smile at the thought, but Daniel’s lips are on his neck and-

 

“Sorry,” Daniel mumbles when Jihoon hisses, more in pleasure than pain.

 

“Don’t be,” Jihoon relaxes again when Daniel kisses the same spot. “It feels good.”

 

“Really?” Daniel grins.

 

He misses this, so much. He’s missed Daniel and his overeager puppy persona so much.

 

“Yeah. I missed you so much.”

 

The mood in Daniel’s room always makes him say the weirdest things. Or maybe because Daniel is doing this to him that’s making him feel this way. Either way, he’s not himself whenever Kang Daniel is around.

 

Or maybe he’s just never felt so alive until he’d met Daniel.

 

“I missed you,” Jihoon says again when Daniel cleans up after them. It’s a rare occasion but Jihoon is too dead beat to even move. All he wants to do is sink into the sheets and sleep forever. The bath he is constantly nagging Daniel to take is long forgotten when Daniel cuddles up next to him.

 

“You’ve been saying that the whole night,” Daniel reminds him with a soft kiss on his cheek. “You must have missed me so much, huh?”

 

“Am I smooth or what,” Jihoon smiles, playing with Daniel’s fingers.

 

Soon enough, he feels himself drifting off to dreamland.

 

What Daniel doesn’t know is; this is just 1 out of 100 other ways for Jihoon to say, “I like you”.

 

 

 

 

 

“What the fuck, give it back!”

 

The room is small, and Daniel doesn’t have much space to run around but somehow, he’s managing just fine. He has Jihoon’s unlocked phone in his hand while the owner is fuming.

 

“Who is this chestnut head?” Daniel narrows his eyes at Jihoon’s lockscreen.

 

“Shut up and give me back my phone, asshole!”

 

It’s a weirdly low-quality selfie of a young boy with a heart filter. Like those cheesy selfies idols take for their fans.

 

“And he’s not a chestnut head!” Jihoon pouts. “It’s a cute selfie!”

 

“Oh. Is this the crush you were talking about before?” Daniel vaguely recalls Jihoon telling him about this cute boy that he thinks is really talented and good-looking the day before. He eyes were twinkling when he’d spazzed to Daniel about chestnut boy.

 

_Twinkling_. Gross.

 

Daniel wants Jihoon to talk about him like that too.

 

“Why’s his head so small?” Daniel doesn’t give in. “You need to have a big head like me – that’s where all the brains go.”

 

If Jihoon were a wolf he would definitely be baring his teeth at Daniel now too.

 

“He is the _love of my life_ ,” Jihoon snaps. “A big head is useless if there is nothing but air in it.”

 

Daniel fakes an offended scoff, holding his hand over his heart as if this is the first time Jihoon has dissed his intellectual ability.

 

_Love of my life, huh._

 

“Now you’ve really done it,” Daniel shakes his head in disapproval as he continues to hold Jihoon’s phone out of reach. With swift fingers and impeccable technology skills he finds his half-naked gym shot still saved in Jihoon’s gallery and sets it as Jihoon’s new lockscreen.

 

“Here,” he hands it back to Jihoon, now satisfied. “A high definition lockscreen. You can thank me later.”

 

“Thank you, my foot,” Jihoon grumbles, but doesn’t even make a move to switch it back.

 

Kang Daniel: 1, Chestnut Boy: 0

 

Daniel points his phone at a very angry looking Jihoon.

 

“There,” he smiles. “You’re my lockscreen too.”

 

“I look like I want to kill you,” Jihoon whines, trying to snatch it out of Daniel’s hands. “At least change it to a prettier one!”

 

“What are you talking about? This is how you look 99% of the time!”

 

Daniel has nowhere left to run as Jihoon traps him in a headlock and forces him to change it to a “prettier” selfie off his Instagram. It has the same low quality cheesy bunny filter as chestnut boy, but Daniel doesn’t complain.

 

He’s going to be looking at his phone a lot more.

 

Maybe Daniel had lied. When he sees Jihoon, he doesn’t just see an angry brat with the weirdest mood swings although he’d swear it upon his life that Jihoon was the devil’s incarnate. When he sees Jihoon, he sees the way the boy lights up when he sees a funny video. He sees the boy that starts to offer to pay for their meals more and more and finally, he sees the boy he’s fallen head over heels in love with.

 

And this was probably what Seongwoo meant by letting go. There is nothing Daniel sees in their future together. They’re just going to be a part of each other’s college memory – someone to talk about next time when someone asks them about college; they would be “that boy I slept around with during my college days”.

 

Seongwoo is right. Maybe letting go now will hurt less than holding on to nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t supposed to end like this – this is nothing like what Daniel had in mind when they had both made the pact that February night. It isn’t supposed to be ugly with them screaming at each other at three in the morning with someone banging angrily on their door and telling them both to shut the fuck up and go to sleep.

 

Maybe he should stop and rewind before babbling too much.

 

“We have to stop.”

 

That wakes Jihoon up. He was already dozing off on Daniel’s shoulder when the other had turned on some trashy reality show on tv.

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

 

“Watching tv?” Jihoon’s face changes slowly, until he looks at Daniel’s serious expression. “No, you’re not talking about the tv.”

 

“I’m talking about us. I don’t want to do “us” anymore.”

 

Daniel stands up abruptly, shaking Jihoon off. He’d planned a million ways to break this to the other boy but none of them ever seem to end well. He thinks they were doomed from the beginning to the end, anyway.

 

Jihoon grabs his wrist before he can walk away, eyes flickering back and forth with uncertainty.

 

“What? Don’t walk away from me – explain. What the fuck are you saying? You’re tired of me?”

 

“Not of you. Of _this_. The arrangement. We said once one of us wanted _out_ it would stop. Here it is; I want out.”

 

The words feel foreign coming out of his mouth. He would have never dreamed to be the one to utter these words to Jihoon’s face, especially when he can see how each and every single word hurts the boy even more.

 

Jihoon exhales slowly. It feels like preparing for a storm to hit.

 

“Okay,” Jihoon’s tone is icy and unfamiliar. Daniel hates this so much. “What do you want me to do? Pack up and leave now? Block your number? Pretend not to know you? I think I can do that much.”

 

Jihoon gets up from his seat and grabs all his shirts from Daniel’s cupboard. His heart wrenches just seeing how many shirts and hoodies have piled up since the start.

 

How long exactly were they planning to keep this up?

 

“Jihoon. Don’t do this,” Daniel’s voice strains.

 

“Don’t do what?” Jihoon snaps, clearly frustrated. “You clearly want me gone.”

 

“Don’t act like it’s nothing, I just want us to return to normal, you know,” he’s grabbing at every chance he can get to calm Jihoon down before the storm hits. If anything, he can practically feel the anger seething from Jihoon right now.

 

“I don’t want normal,” Jihoon replies curtly. “Fuck that, I _can’t_ do normal with you.”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m shit at words, you’re the better one at that clearly. We don’t have to argue like other couples out there like we’re breaking up, we’re just… returning things to the way they were before.”

 

“Yeah, because you’re clearly fine with that,” Jihoon smiles, but it’s so fake.

 

“You don’t have to be overdramatic,” Daniel grunts, and regrets it immediately.

 

He knows he’s broken the last string of hope they had between that.

 

“Me? I’m overdramatic? Woah… you’re amazing, Kang Daniel.”

 

Sarcasm. Fucking sarcasm. Usually, Daniel loves it when Jihoon retaliates with his smart words but all it is doing right now is worsening the situation.

 

“What are you so mad for,” Daniel says, and then he can’t stop himself anymore. He’s out of control – _he’s_ the overdramatic one. He’d brought this up because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to let Jihoon go if they continued any further.

 

Jihoon takes in a deep breath.

 

“You’re asking me why I’m mad. Maybe use your big brain for that. You’re good at that, anyway.”

 

Daniel’s heart drops further and further with every minute this drags on. He doesn’t want to fight with Jihoon. It’s exhausting and all they’re doing is the best they can to hurt the other’s feelings. They’re both not thinking right.

 

“And _you’re_ good at making use of me. Since you’re tired, you can go back to your Bae Jinyoung or whatever his name is. Things are all turning out great, huh? I can graduate without any baggage and you can live your dream life. This is a fucking miracle for you, Jihoon.”

 

God, he does not mean that. He does not mean _any_ word of what he just said.

 

“Fuck you!”

 

Jihoon’s crying.

 

Oh, fuck. He never meant to make Jihoon cry.

 

He’s smiling, but tears are streaming down his face.

 

“You’re right,” Jihoon says, stepping away from Daniel. “You’re _always_ right. Things are great. I figured out how big a jerk you were before it was too late. I’m just a fucking loser to catch feelings for you somewhere along the way of this cursed journey but hey- thanks for everything. At least I don’t have to fall any further.”

 

He slams the door hard behind him, waking the entire dorm.

 

Daniel just takes out the tub of ice-cream Jihoon had screamed at him to buy and tries to pretend that everything is okay.

 

Even if it is not, it eventually will be.

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon runs and knocks on Donghan’s door. He answers the door half-awake but one look at Jihoon’s teary eyes and already red nose, he cracks his knuckles and only asks one question:

 

“Where’s the fucker?”

 

Daehwi arrives next, and Woojin only comes rushing in with a hockey stick, half an hour late after Jihoon has relayed the entire story to Donghan and Daehwi, and Donghan’s Japanese roommate who just keeps handing Jihoon tissues while looking at him pitifully.

 

“What is that?” Daehwi yelps when Woojin barges in.

 

“A weapon,” Woojin says distractedly. He looks at Jihoon and asks, “Where is he?”

 

“Exactly what I said. But sit down,” Donghan takes the hockey stick away from Woojin before he can hurt someone, more specifically Woojin himself, with it. “Don’t worry. If anyone has to raise fists it will be Jihoon.”

 

“Only I brought a reasonable item along to this intervention?” Daehwi looks around while holding up two tubs of ice-cream.

 

Jihoon cries some more because he remembers he left a tub of his favourite ice-cream back in Daniel’s room.

 

“Fuck. I bet he’s eating it,” Jihoon sobs while shoving a spoon of ice-cream down his throat. “I hate him so much.”

 

“I told you he was a fuckboy,” Woojin says through clenched teeth.

 

Donghan still hasn’t unclenched his fists. Kenta has to be the one to keep them in check because even Daehwi gets more fired up when Jihoon has to retell the story to Woojin. He feels like an idiot for falling for Daniel.

 

That’s right, he can admit that now because it means nothing anyway.

 

His phone lights up.

 

Woojin grabs it even before Jihoon can react.

 

“He’s disgusting,” Woojin hisses. “The _audacity_ of him to set his picture as your lockscreen.”

 

Jihoon totally forgot about that. He wonders if Daniel has already changed the picture. It wouldn’t surprise him anyway.

 

“I want to see,” Jihoon reaches out for the phone.

 

“No,” Woojin lifts it out of reach. “I’m blocking and deleting his number right now. You’re going to say fuck him and move on with your life. You’re so much better than him. Please, Jihoon?”

 

Woojin is right. He doesn’t have time for Daniel anymore.

 

But it’s so hard – the nights were _made_ for him and Daniel. And now that Daniel is gone, how is he ever going to get through the nights?

 

Jihoon just bites on his lip and tries not to cry as he’s snuggled in a weird group hug, including Donghan’s roommate.

 

 

 

 

 

**Niel hyung** **♡ [3:58am]**

Jihoon, I did it because I’m in love with you

_(message not received)_

 

 

 

 

“Well, this is awkward.”

 

Jihoon sighs when he recognises that voice.

 

“Sorry, I was just here to pass Woojin something. He told me he’d be here. I didn’t mean to-“

 

“Seongwoo hyung, _it’s fine_. You can leave it here. Woojin went to the toilet.”

 

The boy fumbles with the stack of books in his hands. Jihoon knows he’s going to drop them if he doesn’t help. And even though he doesn’t want to be nice to any of you-know-who’s friends he can’t just stand here and watch innocent Seongwoo take the blunt of Jihoon’s anger.

 

“Let me help you,” Jihoon offers.

 

Seongwoo smiles when Jihoon helps him lift the top half of the books.

 

“Aha, here it is,” Seongwoo waves a piece of paper and sets it down on Woojin’s seat. “Thanks, Jihoon.”

 

He clears his throat, “Uh, you’re welcome?”

 

_Now please go_ , Jihoon thinks to himself. It is awkward enough that he has never had a proper conversation with Seongwoo except for that one time – and now he’s trying his very best to get over Seongwoo’s best friend that he also really wants to punch at the same time.

 

“Um…” Seongwoo stalls.

 

“You don’t have to say anything, you really don’t,” Jihoon decides to cut the tension.

 

“Sorry. I- _just_. I heard from Niel,” Jihoon winches when he hears that name. “I’m sorry.”

 

I’m sorry is for when someone did something wrong. Seongwoo didn’t do anything wrong. And maybe neither did Daniel. I’m sorry is something you say to someone when someone close to them dies. I’m sorry is not something you say when you become nothing when you were once everything.

 

“Thanks, I guess.”

 

Seongwoo scratches the nape of his neck, wondering what he should say.

 

“He’s okay… right?”

 

Jihoon hates himself so much. Even after a million pep talks from his friends and from himself, he still cannot escape from this black hole called Kang Daniel. Even when he wants to be cold to Daniel, he just finds himself worrying. Maybe Daniel is fine, perfectly fine; since he was the one who had grown sick of them first anyway.

 

Seongwoo smiles, but it’s not a happy one.

 

“No,” Seongwoo shakes his head, gathering his books. “No, he’s not.”

 

It’s supposed to make Jihoon feel better, but it doesn’t.

 

Somehow he thinks it would be better if Daniel wasn’t hurting, too.

 

 

 

 

 

“Why did you have to do that?”

 

It is not a good day for Daniel. His head is throbbing, and he’s run out of painkillers. He’s running short on sleep again because the nightmares haven’t stopped haunting him ever since Jihoon left two weeks ago. Seongwoo won’t stop yapping in his ear and Sungwoon just looks at him pitifully from the side.

 

“If my memory serves me right, _you_ were the one who told me to let go of him.”

 

“I said to do it only if it would hurt more to let go in the future,” Seongwoo replies, attempting to console Daniel by handing him a beer can. Sungwoon clicks his tongue distastefully at that, “Really, Ong? It’s three in the afternoon. Do you really think it’s time to get him drunk?”

 

“He’s a big boy. Plus, he needs the buzz to get through the day.”

 

Seongwoo kicks the pile of dirty clothes off Daniel’s bed, adding, “He’s a mess.”

 

Daniel doesn’t argue with that. It’s true.

 

“Niel, you shouldn’t have let go if you knew it would hurt less to have him stay.”

 

The memories of Jihoon and him in their almost three-month journey play through his mind like a never-ending cassette tape. Daniel feels like throwing up every time he comes back to his room, only to realise it is empty.

 

“Why does it hurt so much?” Daniel wonders out loud.

 

The alcohol does nothing but makes his heart ache more for someone he can never have again.

 

“I think you know the answer to that one,” Sungwoon sighs, getting a can for himself as well. “Come on, true friends won’t let you get drunk in the afternoon alone.”

 

Were they stupid for embarking on a journey they knew would have an end? Were they that gullible to think that there wouldn’t be feelings developed when they were the only ones who were keeping the other afloat the entire time?

 

“How is he, hyung?”

 

Seongwoo looks at him with very sad eyes.

 

“You both asked me the same question,

 

-and I think that says more than enough.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course Daniel is at the biggest college party held by seniors who are graduating soon. He’s a senior, and he’s also graduating soon, why wouldn’t he not be here?

 

The “Wild Card” party is the party talked about by students throughout the year – pegged as the last party seniors get to go to before braving through their finals and finally graduating. It’s their final chance to party hard, so it should come as no surprise to Jihoon to see a tall stature with a blinding smile participating in a game of body shots in the centre of the room amidst the deafening cheers.

 

“Drinks?” someone taps on Jihoon’s shoulder.

 

He relaxes. It’s just Jaehwan – a senior he’d met through an additional theatre programme and the person who had invited him and his friends in the first place.

 

“Thanks,” Jihoon smiles, bringing the cup to his mouth. Beer, he recognises.

 

Jaehwan observes Jihoon’s eyes that never leave the competition.

 

“This isn’t even as crazy as the party is going to get,” Jaehwan whispers to Jihoon. “Make sure you don’t miss out the skinny dipping and dirty dancing later on. Believe me when I say college seniors are animals.”

 

Jihoon laughs at the joke but it is overshadowed by the roaring of the crowd as Daniel takes the lead, downing the shot of what Jihoon assumes to be tequila and moves his lips down to his partner’s (a cute, embarrassed and young-looking boy Jihoon has never seen in his life.) stomach area.

 

Jihoon looks away.

 

“Who is it, huh?” Jaehwan notices Jihoon’s uncomfortable stance. “Broad shoulders? Denim jacket? Puppy eyes smile?”

 

Jaehwan takes Jihoon’s silence as consent.

 

“That’s Kang Daniel. He’s cute, right? Does our little Jihoonie have a crush?”

 

It’s nothing. It’s been months since they’ve acknowledged each other’s existence, much less spoken to the other. Jihoon tries his best to avoid the med student’s buildings whenever he can. He doesn’t go to the burger joint down the road and he writes lyrics in his room when he cannot sleep, afraid he’ll bump into _someone_ if he goes out.

 

But everything comes back – flooding in without control when he sees the familiar denim jacket draped around Kang Daniel’s shoulder. Everything he’s been trying so hard to forget returns to him in an instant.

 

“Don’t fall for him, he’s graduating soon,” Jaehwan ruffles Jihoon’s hair. “What about I set you up with someone this week for lunch? I know a few people who have expressed their interest in you. You’re quite popular.”

 

Jihoon watches, eyes stinging when he sees Daniel smiling as he latches his lips onto his partner’s; taking the lime in his mouth skilfully. The crowd cheers as Daniel’s team takes the win and people start chanting for them to get a room.

 

The pair even bow when the crowd congratulate them.

 

“Hyung, I’ll see you later, alright?”

 

“Hm? Oh, okay,” Jaehwan is already distracted when they start asking for volunteers to start playing beer pong.

 

Jihoon disappears into the kitchen where he knows he won’t be seen. He grabs another cup of alcohol, taking note of his own tolerance but he’s sure it has increased ever since he’s been going out for dinner more with his major mates.

 

“Everything okay, Jihoon?”

 

Donghan looks out for him even when he has his own problems to deal with; mainly the familiar face in his arms.

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon swallows. “Everything is just peachy.”

 

“Well… tell me if you need a ride back, alright? I’m playing the driver tonight.”

 

A cup of alcohol does not make everything better. It helps though when Jihoon feels tipsy and he can no longer recognise the faces that pass by him – better, so there is no chance of him seeing Kang Daniel shove his tongue down some other pretty boy in the hallway.

 

Or maybe that boy was his boyfriend. Jihoon wouldn’t know since they haven’t spoken since that night.

 

A lot can change in a few months.

 

Maybe Kang Daniel suddenly decides he’s fine with commitment.

 

A lot can change – so why hasn’t Jihoon’s feelings?

 

 

 

 

 

“Jihoon?”

 

He misses saying that name so much. If it weren’t for the brunette crouching on the stairs right now, Daniel would have sworn Park Jihoon was just a fleeting memory he’d just clung on to for nothing.

 

Jihoon opens his eyes wide.

 

“Who are you?”

 

Daniel waves his hand in front of Jihoon’s dazed eyes.

 

_He’s drunk_ , Daniel realizes.

 

“I’m Daniel,” he gulps, kneeling down so they’re at the same eye-level. Fuck, Park Jihoon still looks as beautiful as ever. Daniel wouldn’t have expected any less from the prettiest boy he’s seen descend on this planet. “Jihoon, remember? Kang Daniel.”

 

Jihoon appears to have some difficulty recognising him.

 

“Daniel?” he squints, trying to recount, and Daniel feels his heart sink in disappointment. Yes, maybe they haven’t seen each other in the longest time but did he really occupy such a small space in Jihoon’s heart for the boy to completely wipe him out from his memory.

 

“You’re not Daniel…” Jihoon shakes his head, pointing at his hair. “Daniel has brown hair.”

 

Daniel exhales, at least Jihoon still remembers him.

 

“I had to dye it black because I’m going to med school soon,” Daniel explains slowly, making sure Jihoon is taking in all of this information. How many cups of alcohol did Jihoon have to drink, anyway?

 

“Med school…” Jihoon mumbles. “Yeah. Daniel talks about that a lot. He likes reminding me how smart he is.”

 

“ _I’m Daniel_ ,” he finds himself chuckling.

 

“No,” Jihoon holds out his hands and cups Daniel’s face.

 

“Daniel has plumper cheeks…” he moves his hands to Daniel’s nose and lips. Students who walk past eye them strangely and Daniel assures them that he is okay, and he knows Jihoon.

 

“Oh!” Jihoon suddenly realizes. “Your nose and lips are just like Daniel’s!”

 

“ _I am him_ , dummy,” Daniel repeats for the third time. He doesn’t think Jihoon is going to sober up anytime soon. Knowing by experience, Daniel thinks the boy won’t last long till he starts sleeping on the stairs or worse, in one of the room upstairs where not-so-innocent things are definitely going on right now.

 

He thinks about calling Seongwoo, or even Sungwoon. Jihoon’s friends should be around somewhere.

 

“Where’s Woojin?” Daniel says into Jihoon’s ear as the music gets turned up again, drowning out his voice. “Donghan? Daehwi?”

 

“Um…” Jihoon squeezes his eyes shut. “I don’t know. It’s hot in here.”

 

His fingers start unbuttoning the first button on his dress shirt and Daniel flies in to stop him.

 

“Can you stand?” Daniel asks, wrapping his hand around Jihoon’s waist when the other boy doesn’t respond. God, he’d sworn to never get himself into one of these situations again. Anything involving Park Jihoon, Daniel wants to stay away from.

 

“Eung,” Jihoon nods slowly, slipping his hand into Daniel’s for support. “Oh, your hand feels just like Daniel’s, too.”

 

By now, Daniel has given up on trying to convince Jihoon about his identity.

 

“Rest here,” Daniel helps Jihoon lay his head down on his own shoulder. “Better?”

 

The air is clearer and cooler outside than inside. He finds a secluded corner where they can rest because he has a feeling if he even tries getting Jihoon to his room he will face the wrath of his three friends who already hate him.

 

He’s not dumb; he sees the glares Daehwi directs at him when they pass each other in the hallways. He sees Woojin distracting Jihoon when he spots Daniel in the distance. He even sees Donghan switching places with Jihoon in the restaurant near their college so that he doesn’t have to look at Daniel.

 

_What went wrong?_

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon nods absentmindedly. “Feels nice.”

 

“Wow, you’re actually feeling sleepy?” Daniel mutters. “How have you been sleeping these few months?”

 

“Saw a doctor,” Jihoon recites like the words are written on the back of his palm. “I got some pills to help me sleep. Take it an hour before… sleep… at least I think that’s what the doctor said.”

 

“Okay,” Daniel nods. “Sleep.”

 

Jihoon falls silent.

 

“Are you really Daniel?”

 

“Yes,” Daniel inhales sharply. “Why? You don’t believe me?”

 

Jihoon shifts his body closer to Daniel’s, practically moulding their bodies together.

 

“I just don’t believe he would care about me this much.”

 

 

 

 

 

When his world finally stops spinning and he doesn’t feel like puking all over himself anymore, Jihoon opens his eyes and prepares himself for the worse. The loud music has long died down and it is replaced by soft chatter.

 

“You’re awake? How are you feeling?”

 

It feels like a dream, a nightmare.

 

“Kang Daniel?”

 

“You finally recognise me,” the figure laughs lightly, and Jihoon feels the vibration it sends down his body. He has no idea how they’re in this position, his head nested comfortably on Daniel’s shoulder with his arm around Jihoon’s waist.

 

“What are you doing here-“

 

“Daniel sunbae,” a soft voice interrupts Jihoon’s.

 

They both look up to see the same pretty boy from the body shot competition. Jihoon’s heart twists in an ugly way, though he forces the bad feelings down and casts his gaze somewhere else as if he’s been caught doing something indecent.

 

“Oh. Jongmin ah.”

 

_That’s his name?_ Jihoon raises his eyebrow.

 

“I was wondering if you wanted to come back with me to my dorm,” the boy chews on his lower lip, looking hesitant. Unconsciously, Jihoon tightens his grip on Daniel’s thigh.

 

Daniel glances at him – Jihoon just curses internally. He’d promised himself and his friends to never fall back into the black hole called Kang Daniel. Even if by sheer coincidence he’d ended up next to Daniel at a party he’s fully sober now and should have enough logic in him to realise that this is a situation he should back away from.

 

“Jongmin ah, I don’t think we should,” Daniel’s voice falters.

 

He’s actually considering it, Jihoon realizes.

 

“ _Don’t_ ,” Jihoon says out loud.

 

The attention is shifted to him and rightfully so.

 

“Don’t go,” he tells Daniel. “Stay here.”

 

“ _Sunbae_ ,” the lean boy protests.

 

Jihoon is selfish. Daniel isn’t his, yet he doesn’t want to share Daniel with anyone else. He knows Daniel isn’t looking for love, but he just wishes Daniel wouldn’t walk away with this boy Jihoon knows nothing about. He doesn’t want to be second to anyone else.

 

“Okay,” Daniel promises Jihoon. “I’ll stay.”

 

He turns to the crest-fallen boy, “I’m really sorry Jongmin ah, go home please? It’s really late and it gets dangerous at night. Get someone to drive you back to the dorms.”

 

Jihoon just swallows the lump in his throat as the boy nods slowly at Daniel’s words and goes back to his friend group who pats him on his back and sends death glares to Jihoon. He just sinks further back into the chair.

 

“Jihoon, I think- we might have some things to talk about.”

 

“I don’t want to hear about how you don’t want a relationship because _I know_ , I know the best, okay?” Jihoon hears himself pleading. He knows all his senses are screaming at him to get the fuck out of this party and run as far away from Daniel as he can.

 

“No. I-“

 

“Fuck, _Niel_. I don’t even care if you don’t look at me anymore after this but just one more. _One more night_. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to you previously.”

 

God, he’s so pathetic, begging Daniel for something he doesn’t want.

 

“Hey. Look at me,” Daniel wipes his thumb over Jihoon’s cheek. “Don’t say that.”

 

“Kiss me?” is the only thing Jihoon can ask.

 

“Okay,” Daniel nods. “Yes, I’ll kiss you. It’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about the entire night.”

 

It sounds like a lie, but that’s okay. Jihoon can live in a lie if it means living with Daniel.

 

 

 

 

 

It feels like his skin is on fire when Jihoon runs his fingers under his shirt; every touch is a burn and a reminder of how Jihoon isn’t really his even though his deluded mind tells him that all the time. Daniel stops Jihoon when he’s trying to unlock his door, afraid that someone will see them and witness this scene by accident.

 

And because he wants Jihoon to be only for his eyes tonight.

 

“Let’s,” Daniel pauses and holds Jihoon’s impatient hands in place as he locks the door behind him. “Jihoon, let’s take it slow tonight, okay?”

 

He doesn’t want this to end. In fact, Daniel never wanted _them_ to end. He just thought it would be best if they separated before his feelings grew too big to control. He’s afraid of having Jihoon, because that would be he could lose Jihoon as well.

 

“Okay,” Jihoon agrees, leading them to Daniel’s bed.

 

It feels like a dream to have Jihoon in his room again. The past few months have been spent forgetting, and them remembering, and then trying to forget again. Even when he’s not here, it feels like he never left.

 

“God damn it,” Jihoon curses. “We’re fucked up, Daniel.”

 

“Just look at us,” he adds. “Swearing we hate each other and ignoring each other for three whole months only to end up where we first started.”

 

Daniel takes Jihoon’s hand in his.

 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he promises. “You can walk out, and we can pretend this never happened. You know I won’t tell anyone.”

 

But then Daniel would be heartbroken, and he doesn’t think he can get over Jihoon a second time. Once is already too much to handle.

 

“ _I can’t_ , that’s the problem. I can’t walk away from you. From the first night I saw you I couldn’t take my eyes off you – do you have any idea how hard it is for me?” Jihoon confesses.

 

Daniel knows; because he feels exactly the same way.

 

“I didn’t mean a thing I said to you that night.”

 

Jihoon sniffs, willing himself not to cry. Daniel knows he hates showing this side of himself.

 

He gulps, “I never meant to call you a baggage to me because _fuck_ \- you are _anything but_ a burden to me. And when I said you could go back to your Bae Jin- _something_ guy I lied because I was angry and jealous that you liked someone better than me. You even called him the love of your life.”

 

Jihoon opens his eyes wide.

 

“About that guy-“

 

“Does he treat you well?” Daniel asks, smiles bitterly, even. He’s already been prepared to hear the words from Jihoon’s mouth ever since word had travelled and there were sightings of Jihoon hanging out with a new guy after they fought.

 

It doesn’t take a genius to guess that Jihoon is happier than he was three months ago.

 

“Daniel-“

 

“I know it isn’t my place to ask or snoop around because I’m _just_ a fuckbuddy who caught feelings for you along the way but at least I know how well you deserved to be treated.”

 

Jihoon’s bottom lip trembles.

 

“All I know how to do is make you cry and tell you I’m not looking for a relationship because I’m _that_ coward who’s too afraid to admit his real feelings but since you’re here and I’m graduating soon, I just want to say I’m in love with you; always have been.”

 

“There, I said it,” Daniel concludes.

 

And just like that, 6 months’ worth, maybe even more, of his complicated feelings has been thrown out there in the open for Jihoon to hear.

 

Maybe he ruined his last chance of having a one-night stand with the most beautiful boy to ever step foot on this earth but at least his chest feels lighter. He hugs his knees to his chest, too afraid to hear what Jihoon has to say to him now.

 

Jihoon eases his way next to Daniel, almost frightened to touch him.

 

“By the way… do med students not watch TV?”

 

Well, that is the least to say, anticlimactic.

 

At least Jihoon is not mad at him, or he’s not crying anymore. He’s smiling-

 

“What?” Daniel mumbles. “I… I can’t speak for the rest of the population, but I don’t get to watch a lot of TV because I’m so busy with school.”

 

“Social media? Do you guys really have no life?”

 

Ouch.

 

“Did you just reject my confession with insults to my major? Because I would gladly accept it if it means you’re no longer mad at me.”

 

Jihoon pulls Daniel’s hands away from his face, “Hey, I want to tell you something.”

 

Here it comes: the rejection. Daniel braces himself for it.

 

“Bae Jinyoung – the main actor of the #1 top ranking drama topping the ratings every Saturday for ten weeks in a row now. The person Gucci contacted to be their newest model. The celebrity who ranks #1 on brand reputation every month since his debut last year.”

 

Daniel blinks at Jihoon’s smirk, like he knows something Daniel doesn’t. He pieces the puzzles together, coming to an embarrassing realization that Park Jihoon is merely a fanboy infatuated with a celebrity the entire South Korea has been raving about.

 

Now that Daniel thinks hard about it, he thinks he remembers Seongwoo mentioning once how he would drop his girlfriend for some rookie actor on TV.

 

That’s Bae Jinyoung?

 

It makes sense, it fucking makes sense. The cheesy lockscreen for his fans, Jihoon’s unending profession of love for someone Daniel has never seen in person.

 

“What’s that big head of yours for now, huh?” Jihoon has that sadistic smile on his face that either makes Daniel want to punch or kiss him silly.

 

“Well… it was thinking of a million ways I could make you feel so good tonight so you wouldn’t leave me in the morning. But now I’m just thinking about how I could ever recover from this embarrassment. I don’t think I’m going to perform well in bed tonight.”

 

He’s so ashamed about overreacting over some celebrity.

 

He thinks he’s dreaming when he feels a pair of moist lips pressing against his forehead.

 

“You could leave that to me?” Jihoon suggests, smiling at Daniel’s bewilderment.

 

“What does this mean?” Daniel demands. Maybe he’s dense and he has a need for things to be spelt out for him.

 

“This means we have a few hours before sunrise do go back to what we were planning to do. And then maybe we’ll try to go to bed and if we wake up in the morning and feel like it, we’ll talk. Maybe I’ll think about leaving out the part where you were jealous over my idol, and you can leave out the part where you tell me you’re not ready for commitment.”

 

“And if that doesn’t work out…” Jihoon’s fingers dance along Daniel’s arm. “Then it’ll be a beautiful memory for me to take with me.”

 

That sounds just about right.

 

You know what else feels right? The way Jihoon’s arms snake across his waist and the way his sinful lips whisper praises into Daniel’s ears and the way his heart beats like it’s finally alive whenever he’s around Jihoon.

 

He doesn’t know if his confession has long flown past Jihoon’s ears but the way Jihoon kisses him tells him that this isn’t over.

 

And he’s more than okay with that.

 

 

 

 

 

When something heavy presses against Jihoon and sunlight peeks through the curtains, all the memories of the previous night flood his mind again, and he rubs his eyes just to make sure he is not in some twisted dream where he’s back in Daniel’s room and Daniel’s arm is draped over his chest.

 

For a moment, it seems like time has stopped for Jihoon.

 

The party, the long and frustrating ride back to the dorms, the confession.

 

Everything that goes against his brand-new mantra of staying as far away from Daniel as possible has happened in less than 24 hours. He’s sure his phone is dead from the exploding text messages he’d gotten last night.

 

(He didn’t pick up any of the calls nor responded to any messages though, there were better things to be taken care of.)

 

He’s sure he’s as good as dead to his friends now.

 

_I’m just a fuckbuddy who caught feelings for you along the way but at least I know how well you deserved to be treated. I just want to say I’m in love with you; always have been._

 

Daniel must have been so drunk to say that. Jihoon must have been as drunk to believe him.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he voices out loud. He’s lucky Daniel is a deep sleeper.

 

Running his fingers through his morning bed hair, Jihoon removes Daniel’s arm and looks around for his shirt. Everything hurts and Jihoon just wishes he had the courage to wake Daniel up and ask him, _“Hey, did you mean everything you said last night?”_

 

But of course not – he’d been drunk and was probably too emotional from seeing Jihoon again.

 

He’d said it himself; he was graduating soon. Jihoon should just do both of them the favour and get out for real before any of them can have second thoughts.

 

But it’s so, so hard to pack up his things and leave again.

 

“Fuck,” Jihoon repeats because he means it.

 

He’s _still_ in love with Kang Daniel.

 

Getting over this is going to be a _nightmare_.

 

“God, are you really going to leave like that? After you promise we’d talk?”

 

Maybe Daniel isn’t as much of a deep sleeper than he’d thought.

 

Jihoon slips on his shirt and looks around for his pants, wondering how they always seemed to disappear the morning after. Daniel looks nothing less than ethereal when he gets out of bed and wraps his arms around Jihoon’s waist, causing him to inhale sharply.

 

Daniel’s breath tickles his neck.

 

“Please don’t leave. I don’t think I can handle that.”

 

“You can’t keep doing this,” Jihoon turns around and puts a distance between him and Daniel. “No, _we_ can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep saying we don’t want to see each other with anybody else but not be anything at the same time. It’s not fair to either of us.”

 

Daniel pouts, “I know.”

 

“So, what now?”

 

Maybe they should sit down, both fully-clothed before having this conversation but there’s never a better time than now, right?

 

Daniel takes in a deep breath.

 

“Maybe… if you’re open to it, I would like to try that.”

 

“And _that_ means…”

 

“I would like to try to have a fully committed relationship with you, Park Jihoon. This means we’ll be boyfriend and boyfriend and we won’t _just_ have sex. I’ll take you to the movies and ask you out on proper dates and hold your hand. I’ll tell you how pretty you look every day. I’ll meet your parents and maybe-“

 

Daniel’s rambling and Jihoon thinks it’s adorable. Most of all, he thinks his heart blossoms when Daniel recites the most cliché things they can do as a couple off his fingers as if he’d googled it the night before.

 

Before Daniel can back out on him again, Jihoon jumps into his embrace.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes?” Daniel echoes, wrapping his hands around Jihoon.

 

“Absolutely,” Jihoon nods. “But maybe we’ll hold off the “parents” part for a while now.”

 

Daniel grins, “But I want to meet the people who made that wonderful piece of ass.”

 

“You’re asking me to be your boyfriend just for that?”

 

“Relax,” Daniel professionally dodges a fist that comes flying at him, choosing to press kisses onto Jihoon’s knuckles instead and Jihoon thinks he only falls for the boy in front of him further. “I swear- over my life I like you so much more than just your ass.”

 

“Okay,” Jihoon believes Daniel because he feels the same way.

 

“I’m not going to lie, I know it’s not going to be easy for the both of us. I’m going to try my best.”

 

That’s all Jihoon needs. He doesn’t need a picture-perfect relationship where they’re always going to be happy. He just needs someone to come back to when he feels like he doesn’t want to face the world. Someone to listen to his rants and gossips and someone who doesn’t mind going out for midnight movies and paying for his meals and kissing in front of homophobic people in public.

 

Kang Daniel is already perfect the way he is.

 

“About graduation,” Jihoon sighs, fingers curling into Daniel’s hand.

 

“We’ll find a way,” Daniel promises. “I know for a fact that there’s a straight bus from here to med school.”

 

“You’ll be so busy,” Jihoon protests. “So will I.”

 

“We’re both busy right now too, but we found our way, didn’t we?”

 

They found each other in the middle of a February night in the most unexpected way, both unsure about what to do with the other’s presence. Now Jihoon thinks they can’t live without it. Daniel’s right, they’ll find their way. Because the nights were made for them – and they’re going to make this work.

 

“There’s my pre-med boyfriend,” Jihoon pats Daniel’s head sarcastically.

 

“Fucking finally,” he adds.

 

Daniel just tackles him onto the bed, muttering something about making up for “lost time”.

 

And Jihoon? He’s just glad Daniel’s shirt is already off.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and reactions are always welcomed especially if i'm going to be writing anymore 18k fics!!
> 
> i had such a fun time writing this and i hope it was the same for you!! i guess i didn't hurt anyone too much this time haha let me know what you guys liked in the comments and see you all soon?? hopefully a lot sooner and with a lot more stories <3


End file.
